Self Esteem – How to Improve Yours
Every moment of every day, you are creating your self esteem (for better or worse) by what you choose to think, do and say. And, yes, it IS a choice! That means that you and you alone, have the power to change your low self esteem and your self confidence for the better. There are literally hundreds of ways that we give ourselves messages, some positive and some negative. The messages we give ourselves determines how we feel about ourselves, and the way others feel about us as well. Every message is either building us up or tearing us down. Here’s a few suggestions on how to improve your low self esteem and self confidence:
1) Focus on what you do well
There are literally hundreds of things that you do well, for how many of them are you giving yourself credit? And, how often are you giving yourself credit for them in comparison to the things you’ve been criticizing yourself for? All too often people are so caught up in trying to be “perfect” that they don’t give themselves nearly enough credit for what they ARE doing well. The more you learn to praise yourself and give yourself credit for what you’re doing well, the more you will open up to the possibility of doing even more things well.
2) Focus on what you do right
Pay more attention to each and every thing you do RIGHT. Often we don’t give ourselves nearly enough credit for what we do right. It’s all too easy to take ourselves for granted, or to pay a lot more attention to what we do wrong or to the mistakes we make. In doing so, we overlook the good things that we all do every day.
3) Do not “should” on yourself
The word “should” implies judgment; if you don’t do what you “should”, then what you are doing is “wrong” which also leads to guilt and further tears down your self-esteem. Rather than trying to eliminate the word, think of it more as simply using a different word instead. Just change the word “should” into “could”. The word “could” implies that you have a choice. You “could” if you wanted to, but no matter what you choose, you’re not making yourself “bad” or “wrong” in doing so, which means that you can feel good about yourself AND the choice you made, instead of feeling guilty for making the “bad or wrong” choice.
4) Do not criticize
Replace all criticism with praise. Find something good in everything you do. Even if it’s not perfect, there is still something of benefit you can find in it. Criticism is like saying, “You’re NOT good enough.” Wow, that’s a guaranteed way to lower anyone’s self-esteem, including your own. No matter how well or poorly you do at something let it be good enough for now. There might still be room for improvement and that’s ok. But, remember to give yourself (and others) credit for how well you did do. And, realize that you’ll probably do even better the next time.
5) Pursue your hobbies and passions
Pay attention to the things you do, used to do, or always wanted to try but never made time for, that were fun for you, things you actually take pleasure in doing. What is fun for you? What do you enjoy? What do you look forward to doing? What do you wish you could do more often? Make time to do more of these things. You need to give yourself the message more often that you deserve to feel good and have fun. And, making the time to have fun is a great way to do that. It’s also a great way to express more fully who and what you really are.
In order to improve your low self esteem and self confidence you need to start weeding out the little ways in which you’ve been giving yourself negative messages, and start increasing ways to give yourself more positive messages. Start using every moment of every day to build yourself up and start enjoying your life!
Pamela M. Joy, Life Coach and Metaphysical Consultant – Life Coaching from a metaphysical perspective! – 434-263-4024 – http://www.kre8ivelady.com
